Playlist

*Scrolling through iPod. Hmmmm....what to listen to....*

1. I'll Make a Man out of You
Really...? I guess. I think back to when I put this song on my music player....when I was watching the Screen. It was full of the same really....nothing really struck my interest. I remember all the letters, all the notices The Boy came with from people eager to hear from me, and then watching as some people didn't even care. To everyone, I knew the change couldn't come from me--they can't wait for ever. I'll come to them when they change, and are ready--they have to be a man first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64&list=FLzd-1LUEpjPZCcbDuFIiKww&index=16&feature=plpp_video

2. Alice of Human Sacrifice
There's no unique individuals, I think as I look at this song. It's not really my taste, but when I came across it....recognized what the song was saying...I could see it. Every face that had ever flashed across the screen was now dripping blood in the song, ruined by their own insanities. They were waiting for something good from their dreams, and I remember...I remember....they were waiting for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6MltGHO-lE&feature=BFa&list=FLzd-1LUEpjPZCcbDuFIiKww&lf=plpp_video

3. Can't I Even Dream?
Another one....right after the last?! All this Japanese makes me smile...and makes me remember what the lyrics mean. Lately, I've been feeling a bit down from watching the Screen all the time. I remember, once, I stopped on a station, I don't remember why, but this song was playing. And strangely, I felt like it was crying to me. So much I want to reach out to them, but I cannot unless they reach for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GR5WV87tsk&feature=BFa&list=FLzd-1LUEpjPZCcbDuFIiKww&lf=plpp_video

4. Rolling Girl
This one is rather new. The Boy came in yesterday, news of Vladimir's displeasure at my non-arrival. I briefly passed his channel, and remembered this song I'd heard what seems to be eons ago. Those two under that tree...I send the boy often to see them, and am always surprised they are waiting. But I need to see how long they will wait....how long they will let me say, "one more time".

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuMg4ngtx3o&feature=BFa&list=FLzd-1LUEpjPZCcbDuFIiKww&lf=plpp_video

5.  Trisha's Lullaby
When the Screen is too loud, I can feel my anger roil....my blood burns, and almost want to scream when the noise grows almost beyond what I can control. And then, the Screen seems to be shrieking at my anger....the Boy will walk in, hand me my iPod, and play this song. It's not just the lyrics that calm me, reminding me of my love for those waiting, but it's the melody itself, proving to me the beauty in the world. To this song, I can feel like there's hope for all waiting.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2kwie-gs2o&feature=BFa&list=FLzd-1LUEpjPZCcbDuFIiKww&lf=plpp_video

6. Needing/Getting
Often, people are morons. It's probably the Screen's fault. It feels like Godot must wait for them. I send them signs....I send them the Boy to tell them....but they never see it. Aggravation. So although this song may be some romantic crap someone on the Screen wrote up, I oddly connect to it.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MejbOFk7H6c&list=FLzd-1LUEpjPZCcbDuFIiKww&index=8&feature=plpp_video

Narrative Gap

Sitting, staring.

The screen in front of me flashes from channel to channel, my eyes following each figure's laugh as they flash on in my vision and are quickly replaced.

A timid knock sounds on my door.

"Enter." I already know who it is.

The boy enters, head low, eyes covered by his mop of hair. "Sir? They are waiting."

I turn off the endless stream of empty noise and lean back, letting my eyes trace the ceiling's cracks, the weight of the sky almost seeming to crush it towards me. "You've been watching them, yes?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then you know."

The boy nods once, leaves. The television turns itself back on. Faces crying now, screaming--at me.

"They know...." I murmur. "I must wait for them."

Background

My name is Godot.

Some people think I have a beard, others think me important. And others....are waiting for me to come.

I wouldn't describe myself. Really, most people see me differently from person to person. To some, I am bringer of evil, tall and looming, but to others, I'm dressed in white and happily smiling. It simply depends. 

For those still waiting, you can read my blog here. I need not tell you the day I come, nor the hour, but perhaps this can pass the time.

Rest assured, I will be coming tomorrow.

All you have to do is wait in faith.

This Online Stuff

Joel Stein, Frank Bruni, Ross Douthat, and Nicholas Kristof--the Men of Opinion.

Their verdict? All the same, essentially. We're all fools.

I know that is a largely overused theme of these blogs, but it's nevertheless true. Stein and Bruni in particular adored criticizing how we, Americans, and our leaders chose to act. Kristof gave a valiant effort to call idiocy "progress" (high five), but found little support from the others, particularly Douthat, who focused on the Monetary God of the Modern World.

Douthat's argument is what tied it all together between the lines: personal gods. Some of them are our cars, our livelihood, maybe even our family--things that we value over society in general that makes us utter fools. The German exchange kids had every right to be shocked--America is culture of its own.

------------------------------------------

This blog was...interesting, to say the least. I mean, I'm more of a paper/pen girl myself (ex: JOURNALING), and sitting down and typing a blog was a whole different world.

First off, I had to get used to the idea that someone could randomly stumble on it and read it. The likelihood, as SMALL as it was, made me squirm in my computer seat at first. But the easy solution was just to WRITE. Write exactly how I talked.

Which I did. With added mind ramblings.

Being able to type rather than hand write entries allowed my thoughts to transition quicker and smoother to the page. Screen. Whatever. And I didn't allow editing, as you can often tell. But I really think that made the writing more REAL, more tangible. Something I would like reading more than a poured over, paragraphs long entry edited and re-edited dozens of times.

So, once I got used to the idea, I got more interested in reading other blogs. I also discovered many people I knew already had blogs (CRAZY) and started following theirs. Blogs are interesting--they let you see into someone's life because they WANT you to. It's like TV--only less a waste.

So....this online stuff.

It was fun writing about idiots. It was fun reading about idiots. It was fun laughing at idiots.

But I'll have to stick with a hard back journal for now. It's been ingrained in me for a while, now. But don't worry--this technology stuff may soon bring this idiot into its fold!!

What Really Matters

I recently read through my blog posts on this site.

What a drag.

Apparently, the world as I see it must be one hell hole. I've called everyone idiots, whined about the rich, the unfair--especially economically. It just goes to show that I'm the most idiotic of them all (maybe).

It's not fair to judge people. I learned that the hard way today. And it's a lesson I never want to relearn.

What really matters is what kind of people are IN the world, and what they're willing to accept. I'm one of them, aren't I? Why should I be so hypocritical of others? It doesn't lead to good stuff.

....and then I remember (with a LARGE sigh)...

World. Run by idiots.

Countries. Full of idiots.

Viva la vida, right?

I'm one of them, aren't I? Even if I'm me, I still get a say on how this world gets to spin into insanity, right?

Right?

It's rambling moments like this, when I'm stressed and tired and can't even make a frickin' cohesive blog that I wonder why I'm even doing this. It's fun, yeah, but then I remember that NO ONE WILL EVER READ THIS. It's a grade in a book.

If that's my only motivation, then this blog will probably remain empty after this last post unless I get another assignment.

What a waste.

But we all waste, right? Even the big guys up top.

Which is what I guess this blog was all about in the first place. Wasting--idiocy--

Hold up. Just got my topic for my paper. Thank you, ramblings.

Nicholas D Kristof on Obamaness

In particular, his lack of ability to keep "expectations that Superman couldn’t have met". He made large claims mainly to get his election secured, and used his race and ideals to get ahead. However, he's had a hard time keeping up with his idealic promises.

Kristof seems to be the most optimistic of bloggers on this topic--he says to look for the good. Sure, Obama is half-way an idiot sometimes, but so is everyone else. When election time comes, he claims it's important to remember what good he's done instead of dwelling on the negative aspects that are equally present in each of us and no doubt in Obama's opponent(s).

And although I'm not exactly an ardent Obama supporter, it would be hypocritical to disagree against such a relevant argument.

http://topics.nytimes.com/top/opinion/editorialsandoped/oped/columnists/nicholasdkristof/index.html

Black Friday

My friend took me and two German exchange students to the mall before Black Friday so we could wait in line for hours. The two Germans were so excited, recording the whole thing (ESPECIALLY when everyone was let in) and snapping pictures of the "crazy Americans" running for "free stuff". They could barely keep up!!!

But when it was done, they told us it was a little bit much. Which was when I realized that money DID seem to rule my life!! I was so tempted to spend more than I did, and it took a lot of self-convincing not to. Yeah, I'll appreciate my batman jacket and video game, but that doesn't mean that in ten years when I can't use them any more that I'll still feel the same way.

It's the monetary poison!! I THOUGHT I WAS IMMUNE!!!